I don't know ... Well okay it started to deteriorate probably the same year i lost my virginity and almost if not completely diminished at some point this month. I'm pathetic... I MEAN I'M AN AMAZING and UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL(People say im too hard on myself.).
Jesus Christ I mean even when i was 8 years old i knew how to get off! I would think about Johnny Depp's face in the movie "Cry Baby" and under my school desk rub my legs together while I was busy writing the word because over and over on a lined sheet of paper. I had no idea what i was doing if i knew my actions were deemed as sexual i probably would of stopped. I wish i could remeber that feeling of just being purely conscious of what im feeling instead of well everything else. I feel like this past year i have done alot of healing on most channels of my health...except for a healthy sex life that is. I treat all my organs so well and have been brutally neglecting my sexual ones. I dont know why I have a certain stigma about orgasms in my head ..that only people that are happy with themselves inside and out have orgasms more a less deserve one. Well I hope to find one day that i can find some use out of my sexual organs LOL! Well i made a commitment to myself that ..eerrr.. I will start touching myself and watching porn. If i didnt know anybetter i would mistake myself for a boy who just hit puberty. But i need that back in my life....to ever feel fully alive again. SO joanna will you come to STAG XXX with me.
Love,
Kayla.
No comments:
Post a Comment