It is said it is wise to set goals and promises to yourself on a full moon .. and well I have a few.
- To forget about what it means to be elite in today's society. That it is okay that I am not a student of one of the most prestigious universities in North America , it does not mean I am any less of an intelligent human being. Accept that I might have a different path that's suited to me and who I am as a person. A person who has an natural knack for helping and listening to others , not someone who only believes in power, money and status.
-To be constantly present. Weather Im making breakfast,eating,exercising,reading,putting my face,working and whatever it might be to actually focus in and just truly appreciating everything I'm doing for my mind and my body. I no longer want to treat being alive as a chore.
- To look in the mirror and exchange a criticism for a compliment. No comparing , no nit picking , just me being happy with what I have.
:) i love you full moon.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
When Did I Lose My Sexuality?
I don't know ... Well okay it started to deteriorate probably the same year i lost my virginity and almost if not completely diminished at some point this month. I'm pathetic... I MEAN I'M AN AMAZING and UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL(People say im too hard on myself.).
Jesus Christ I mean even when i was 8 years old i knew how to get off! I would think about Johnny Depp's face in the movie "Cry Baby" and under my school desk rub my legs together while I was busy writing the word because over and over on a lined sheet of paper. I had no idea what i was doing if i knew my actions were deemed as sexual i probably would of stopped. I wish i could remeber that feeling of just being purely conscious of what im feeling instead of well everything else. I feel like this past year i have done alot of healing on most channels of my health...except for a healthy sex life that is. I treat all my organs so well and have been brutally neglecting my sexual ones. I dont know why I have a certain stigma about orgasms in my head ..that only people that are happy with themselves inside and out have orgasms more a less deserve one. Well I hope to find one day that i can find some use out of my sexual organs LOL! Well i made a commitment to myself that ..eerrr.. I will start touching myself and watching porn. If i didnt know anybetter i would mistake myself for a boy who just hit puberty. But i need that back in my life....to ever feel fully alive again. SO joanna will you come to STAG XXX with me.
Love,
Kayla.
Jesus Christ I mean even when i was 8 years old i knew how to get off! I would think about Johnny Depp's face in the movie "Cry Baby" and under my school desk rub my legs together while I was busy writing the word because over and over on a lined sheet of paper. I had no idea what i was doing if i knew my actions were deemed as sexual i probably would of stopped. I wish i could remeber that feeling of just being purely conscious of what im feeling instead of well everything else. I feel like this past year i have done alot of healing on most channels of my health...except for a healthy sex life that is. I treat all my organs so well and have been brutally neglecting my sexual ones. I dont know why I have a certain stigma about orgasms in my head ..that only people that are happy with themselves inside and out have orgasms more a less deserve one. Well I hope to find one day that i can find some use out of my sexual organs LOL! Well i made a commitment to myself that ..eerrr.. I will start touching myself and watching porn. If i didnt know anybetter i would mistake myself for a boy who just hit puberty. But i need that back in my life....to ever feel fully alive again. SO joanna will you come to STAG XXX with me.
Love,
Kayla.
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